Is it worth it?
I went to do the usual afternoon dog walk in the park some years ago. It was a magical, beautiful sunny day and kids were having fun at the playground. Suddenly a windy storm came by, and rain started to pour from the sky. I was so fascinated with mother nature.
I decided to head back to the apartment where I lived at that time. When I got to the building’s front door it was wide open. People were sheltering themselves from the heavy rain storm and lightning strikes. They were people from the street and from the playground.
There was a boy, around 4-5 years old, and he had a little bicycle. He was already inside the building crying his eyes out. He was in shock, and despair. He looked like the storm has really scared him. He was just sitting on his bike crying and couldn't move at all. There were so many people, a loud storm, and he didn't know what to do.
His mother was leaning against the door, holding it open for others. As I was patiently waiting outside the door to get in, the mother kept shouting to the boy to get out of the way, so people can get in. He was in shock, in freezing mode. All he could do is cry desperately.
I felt really sorry for him. Nobody was helping him.
He needed help to calm down. He couldn’t handle the situation. He was in so much stress, and all that his mom did is keep shouting at him in such a rude way to move out the way, and then she looked at me, and smiled…like she done it right.
I was really shocked to see this happening. To see how distorted out society is, how dysfunctional our family dynamics are, and just how much we are misunderstood even within our own circle.
That little boy needed so much emotional support and a loving, caring, calm mother in that situation... A mother who would prioritize him over strangers. But she was much more concerned about other adults, and about her image, making sure other people didn’t judge her for letting her son stay in the way. Cause that would be unacceptable right?
This is WRONG!
All I could think about was that I am going to write about this, because people need to hear what I have to say.
That little boy has just as much right to occupy space like you and I do.
We grownups are NOT SUPERIOR to CHILDREN.
They should be treated and talked to in equally nice and respectful ways as we should talk to each other.
And I could tell he was a boy that got told to say sorry for everything, and other people have more right to do things then him. He was the servant; he was the belittled person who needed to say sorry for breathing. This is a direct message to your child, that all of his actions need to be accepted and allowed by others.
THEY SHOULD NOT!
Parents who teach their children to always think about other people’s reactions first, are actually destroying their kids gradually.
These kids will have Anxiety, feeling ways less then anyone else, they will be the shy ones, who are afraid to do anything they would enjoy, because they are afraid of the judgment of people around them. These kids will feel a massive lack of acceptance, they feel rejected by others, lack of self-love, and no courage at all. They will think that there is something wrong with them; all the above will result in not being able to integrate into any groups of people, not being able to be themselves.
It’s a VIP ticket to an unhappy, miserable life.
Every child and Adult have the rights to occupy space, to speak up about their emotions, and to be exactly who they are.
Nobody needs anyone else’s permission to be themselves.
There are so many people out there in the world, who cannot fully relax and enjoy even a holiday, because they are constantly worrying about; oh, if I do this is that right?
The more you worry, the more you are a people pleaser, and the less you are able to enjoy your life.
There are millions of children, and millions of adults who fall into this category.
But, I want you to know, that ….
YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE YOU, AND TO BE VOCAL ABOUT IT!
Bianka Varnai
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